It’s not as if the words dance across my mind, tickling it, but leaving me only a faint sense of comprehension. When I read a book, the words become moving pictures, like a film. The scene comes to life before me and I’m suddenly there, bearing witness to an interwoven tale.

But that’s just it. I can only be a silent observer, unable to take part in the story. I can never converse with the handsome young protagonist or become friends with the brave heroine. Fortunately, I can’t be harmed by a vicious knave with a knife hidden inside an inner pocket or a mysterious old hag who is fond with placing curses on civilians, cackling in delight as she does it.

After the epilogue, I realize that I had sat curled on the couch. The sight of a cold cup of chocolate and half-eaten biscuits, which I have abandoned on a side table, greets me out of my reverie. I stare at the familiar furniture of our living room in bitter realization that I am back in this world. Sigh. 

1. I googled up an old theme maker’s themes who doesn’t post them anymore (but apparently people still have them saved, oh yeah) which took quite some time. I actually tried on a gazillion themes at first and just didn’t find them fitting.
2. Choosing a color theme was quite difficult because I couldn’t choose which. Then I got a picture of Yoona, a grayscale-sepia, and followed its color combo.
3. Falling in love with Hee Young’s ‘Are You Still Waiting?’ meant I just had to put it up my tumblr. So, researching about how to do just that took a while. 
4. Lastly, the infinite scrolling. *insert moment of emphasized dread* This took forever. I opted to copy + paste the infinite scrolling codes from other layouts and finally, finally, finally found the perfect one.

Sucks to be a noob at css.

This song has become relevant.

It’s the last day of 2011. This is goodbye to a year filled with laughter and tears, of new people and old friends, of having graduated from the four-year-long prison which was high school and becoming a sleep-deprived college freshman, of falling in chocolate instead of love, of Vampire books and Shadowhunters, of dreaming about Christmas at Hogwarts, of K-Pop overdose, of new experiences and treasured memories and of everything else in between. I raise this imaginary glass of Bailey’s to you. *clang*

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Since I’ve been seeing that photo / poster of Super Junior’s Mytery 6 on my dash this afternoon, I decided to just watch it. Oh, it’s not scary at all. Nope. Didn’t even cover my eyes.

freealien:

I miss my best friend. She hasn’t contacted me in so long I’m starting to worry…

WHERE ARE YOU DONGSAENG……….!?!?

I found this post just now. So sorry! ;A; I don’t mind my phone much either that it’s mostly just rotting inside my bag or wherever and it’s sometimes in Meeting mode so I never know what’s going on with it. But my best friend called via land line. I was going to but I thought she’d be asleep by then. It’s nice filling each other in about anything that’s happening that we’d want to share or talk about like random news / thoughts / experiences / memories and generally, about how are lives have been. I don’t even feel like I’ve talked to her for almost three hours. I almost couldn’t put the phone down. And we could have possibly talked longer but it’s almost midnight now. I’d been in a quiet mood ever since the trip and kept all my thoughts to myself that I’ve become a little distant. In moments like these do I feel truly blessed to know that I have a best friend who cares if I’m still alive, lol. I’ve missed you, umma! :*

presidentofthegalaxy:

sarcastics:

Just looking at the word irks me to no end. It’s not a concept I can understand. There are so many questions when it comes to this topic, none of which can be answered fully. What would bring someone to take their life? Is it simply a selfish act, or a desperate attempt for freedom? Of all things in the world, suicide is one of the things that truly scares me.

Real suicide, fictional suicide, I can’t stand it. If I see a rope with a loop around it at the end and some sort of bar in a show or movie, I will look away. If a fictional character stands on a high platform from a building, or even if they’re just sitting down on it, I get this tremendous discomfort sensation through my body. It’s unbearable for me.

I’ve never contemplated taking my life. Never. There have been moments where I’ve felt like shit and wondered “what’s the point?” but I would never think about the s word. I’ve thought about death and how I might leave the earth someday, but thinking about death and contemplating self-slaughter are two different things.

When I think about how often people take their lives, it scares me. Suicide is one of the things that scares me the most. The thought of someone I know, even someone I only know by their face, taking their life, scares the shit out of me. What if someone I know directly takes their life? In ten years, next month, tomorrow? The possibility makes me sick to my guts. 

It’s cliched, but life is precious. Life is fragile. So fragile that even one minute insensitive comment can drive someone over the edge to no return. It disgusts me when I see people blatantly attacking someone. You don’t know a person’s internal mentality. Your ill-spoken words could be their green light in ending it all. Be careful. One person’s actions can change everything.

Well, as someone who’s been considerably depressed I’d like to explain why it is something people do, but I don’t think I can because you really have to feel what they feel to understand. When you get depressed you go to this place, and slowly it consumes you. You don’t just become sad and hopeless, you lose YOURSELF. You lose your identity. You become detached and you just stop caring about yourself and everything. And there is no being selfish anymore, because when you’re depressed you stop feeling for everyone and everything. You forget about how you feel about your friends and family. That’s why we lose so many people to suicide. Depression is so hard to get out of and overcome because a person’s perspective is altered. 

Also, depression is a feeling beyond sadness or misery. It’s ten times as worse. It’s very hard to get out of it when you’ve reached that stage and it’s not something you can overcome by yourself when all that’s within your periphery is every negative thing you could possibly think of. You will need a lot of help and a lot of comfort to get back to your self. Otherwise, some people will choose suicide.

Suicideis an escape but it’s only if you’re a witness that you can think it’s selfish because being selfish is two things: caring too much about yourself and not caring about others. It’s only because of the latter that you think of it as selfish which is true, in a way. But why would people commit suicide when they care too much about themselves? If they cared, they’d care about their lives.

People have their reasons, practical or not, and they have their choices. If they choose suicide, it’s not our right to tell them otherwise though I do think it’s what we need to do. I do think a life is precious and it’s a waste to take it. But what else can we do when we can’t prevent it? Isn’t it a little selfish too on our part to decide for the lives of others even though we know the better choice? True, those who are in that state might not be thinking clearly anymore. Nothing probably makes sense and they’d be questioning their use and importance in this world which leaves them feeling useless, pathetic, alone. It’s heartbreaking, isn’t it? It’s almost a hopeless situation for both parties. Almost because there is always a way out of everything. The word “hope” wasn’t invented without proof of its existence.

It’s just that every time I hear this song, it gives me a really nice feeling. You know? Sweet, innocent bliss. 

• Kumon (finish the whole set)
• PS3 the design for the tarp in Comp.
• Have our thesis checked; ready for bookbinding

This is the shortest I’ve had in a long time. No more homework! Or quizzes or tests. Not that I’m too nostalgic about it. I guess what I’ll miss is that, I won’t be going back to St. Paul’s next year. I’m so done with High School. But over it? Maybe not yet. Senior year’s been a rush. All I remember is that I’ve done this and then that and then another project. My social life is still barely existent. I kind of hoped I’d be more outgoing this year. Oh, well. On a side note, it’s about 2AM so it’s technically March 14 already. I’ve got to go wash my face and get some rest before the street lights go off. 안녕히 주무십시요! ❤

(reblogged from mickypark:brandnewbreeze)

Cross out the things you’re afraid of and put your score at the top.

1. the dark
2. staying single forever
3. being a parent
4. giving birth
5. being myself in front of others
6. open spaces
7. closed spaces
8. heights (slowly getting over this one though)
9. dogs
10. birds
11. fish 
12. spiders (only when they’re huge, like as big as a basketball)
13. flowers or other plants
14. being touched (no, but being held tightly around the wrist scares me)
15. fire
16. deep water
17. snakes (when they’re coming at me, if not then I’m fine)
18. silk
19. the ocean
20. failure
21. success
22. thunder/lightning
23. frogs/toads
24. my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
25. boyfriends/girlfriends mom
26. rats
27. jumping from high places
28. snow
29. rain
30. wind
31. crossing hanging bridges
32. death
33. heaven
34. being robbed
35. falling
36. clowns
37. dolls
38. large crowds of people
39. men
40. women
41. having great responsibilities
42. doctors, including dentists
43. tornadoes
44. hurricanes
45. incurable diseases
46. sharks
47. friday the 13th
48. ghosts
49. poverty
50. halloween
51. school
52. trains
53. odd numbers
54. even numbers
55. being alone
56. becoming blind
57. becoming deaf
58. growing up
59. creepy noises in the night
60. bee stings
61. not accomplishing my dreams/goals
62. needles
63. blood
64. dinosaurs
65. the welcome mat
66. high speed
67. throwing up
68. falling in love
69. super secrets

If you repost this, it’s been requested that you title it “I’m afraid of _ out of 69 common fears”

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.

If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.

If you get 10-20, you are normal.

If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.

People who don’t have any are liars.

(Source: reachforneverland)